All About Me in 2023!

I’m not someone who typically sets goals for myself in the New Year, but I found myself today thinking about all the women I met in 2022 and how they relayed their life experiences to me. I run a local women’s group here in New Jersey and I found a popular theme among all of the members no matter age, orientation, race, or religion. WE ARE NOT PRIORITIZING OURSELVES.

As women, we don’t realize all that we do. We complete all our daily tasks, run our homes, take care of our kids, and work, not realizing that the burdens we sometimes bear are ten times what a normal human can handle. But that’s our Super Power - we do the work of ten men without hesitation or complaint. We do what we know we have to because we don’t give ourselves another choice.

Now I’m certainly not suggesting that we give up all our responsibilities and stop being acceptable members of society. What I want to see more of my friends, family, and clients committing to this year is the acknowledgment of how powerful we are and how what we do matters. People count on us. We count on ourselves. But rarely do we self-provide the ability to come out of “Fight or Flight” and take care of ourselves. When I worked at Tesla, I would go home at night and tell my husband that my “well was dry” because everyone had taken a bit of water from me over the course of the day. I had no metaphorical water to give to myself to drink. It was simply unsustainable at an emotional and metaphysical level. This was one of the main reasons I took the leap and left Tesla while simultaneously jumping into Stella by Stacia.

So what do we do? How do we fix this? While I don’t have the answer, I did pose this question to several of the women who I spoke to in 2022. What blew my mind about their feedback was that there were so many things that didn’t occur to me as being self-care. I think of self-care as a pedicure, a massage, or getting my hair done. How short-sighted of me. Self-care can be having a beautiful cup of coffee with a friend. Visiting a cheese farm in Hunterdon County or getting a cup of Kava in New Hope. It can be a meditation or a short walk. It can be watching a movie you love or digging into a good book. It doesn’t have to be a physical or vanity treatment to be something that will help you take care of yourself (although those are great too don’t get me wrong!).

My commitment to myself is making it all about me in 2023. What that means to me is making time to see the people I love who will refill my well. Practicing meditation. Picking up my cross-stitching. Not surrounding myself with those that won’t reciprocate what I give out to them in the form of care and love. Calling Uncle when I have overextended myself. Absorbing the good moments and being present in them without thinking about the past or future. Doing things I love and ensuring I find time for them. Not allowing life to completely drain me, or if it does following up with simple and sustainable ways to refill. Writing things like this.

My hope for you is that you find the same. Even if it’s five minutes during a hectic day, or a day off that you can spend alone, don’t let life take away you from prioritizing yourself. We are all Super Women and we all deserve it.

XX,

Stacy/Stacia